“DON’T GET CROSS”
THE FRUSTRATION OF PARENTAL COACHING FROM BOTH THE CHILD & PARENT POINT OF VIEW.
BY DYSLEXIC WRITER, JUNE KIDD.
Example: Let’s say that a parent with a dyslexic boy, wants to help him with school work. This is what happens so often:
Parent, silently vowing to be patient and go through the subject step by step, first reassures the child that this time, no one is going to get cross
So the lesson starts. Step by careful slow step. At first all is well and the lesson moves on quite nicely – then there comes a point where the child doesn’t quite understand and has to be told again – and again – and perhaps yet again…….. The parent is still being careful not to get uptight – but the child (familiar with, and anticipating what, is happening) is already sensing the flurry of tension in himself and the parent.
So, once that problem is dealt with, the lesson proceeds, (relief all round) but the next time something is not quite clear, the child will often hesitate to say so, because he doesn’t want to risk the anyone getting irritated.
So (and this is the crucial point) hoping that he will understand what’s coming next, and so catch-up, he carries on smiling intelligently; keep everyone happy! Comes the point when he has to confess to ‘fog in the brain’ and this is the time when the patient parent, thinking that it’s only the last part that has to be explained, goes over it step by careful step, usually ending with. “You understand it now?” and a smile of expectation.
A dyslexic child learns how to cope, on the hoof so to speak. He will nod and smile, say he understands – and be completely blank inside as to what’s being said. He has switched off! Then he might yawn or wriggle about or say something to change the subject, perhaps have a fit of coughing, anything to move on because he is already bored and just want to get the hell out of there.
However, the dyslexic child will be top of the class if you can find out what interests him and how to get the message over. These children ‘think out of the box’ and we need them for their innovative thought and entrepreneurial flair.
THEIR ‘PROBLEM’ IS PROOF OF THEIR GIFT.
“Unshriven” is a true and factual account of an extraordinary happening in my life. I am a writer with dyslexia who, having completed a course on Imagination, Meditation, and Mind Discipline (Silva Method) was able for the first time in my life to take charge of my butterfly mind, focus my attention, write 100,000 words spanning 300 years in this, my first book (now one of three) and – learn to spell at the age of 40!
So, how best to describe the thinking pattern and potential achievements of the child with dyslexia? First let me make it clear that dyslexia is simply a variation of the normal, as is genius! I liken it to an old fashioned telephone switchboard with wires and plugs that have to connect to order. Most people follow the set rout, making the same connections, over and over and boringly over. Well, with a dyslexic child, although all the wires are there, they don’t automatically make the same connections as the majority.
Despite the constraints of the present educational system, their free-wheeling imaginations will be drawn to, and fascinated by the vast realms of ‘possibilities.’
So many dyslexic people the world over have become highly successful in many spheres and have contributed immensely to the quality of life on this planet.
From these gifted children also come many of our inventors, scientists, inspirational leaders, artists and entrepreneurs. Think of Richard Branson “I wasn’t good at school but I could play cricket, so I didn’t care.” And Jamie Oliver who has created a vast organization built on his love of cooking. Both are dyslexic and both are highly successful – really nice happy guys!
So, what are we doing that dulls the joy in the eyes of a dyslexic child? Are we repeating the largely ineffectual teaching we ourselves received as children? Please do not let what happened to you diminish the happiness from your child’s precious formative years, when they are just starting out on his adventure called Life. Let us, instead, encourage them to enjoy and believe in the magic of the years to come.
Tension makes the eyes less able to focus and so nagging and pressure will be counterproductive and embarrassing! Encouragement is critical, for they are often highly sensitive and easily discouraged if they fail to see any progress from their efforts.
It is frustrating to see that the educational system is still failing to recognize the enormous potential of these children. What a waste! The first essential is diagnosis, then, with enlightened, progressive and sympathetic training, both intuition and visualization and the ability to concentrate, can be developed
My personal experience is proof of this. In my book, “Unshriven” I wrote of my misery at not being able to spell. I loved writing and I had a good imagination but I just couldn’t get the hang of spelling; if in doubt, put another letter in! From my experience I fund that learning to touch type is the answer for most children.
I still can’t do long division (numbers too close together) but when it came to algebra – easy peesy! It’s the telephone switchboard syndrome again.
Now, three books later plus sculpting experience at the Tate, working on a film script and winning a place in a national poetry competition, I know I have the experience to speak with authority when I present my talk at the festival in November:
“YOU CAN’T STOP THE WAVES BUT YOU CAN LEARN TO SURF!”
“Unshriven” available on Amazon, Kindle and Archive Publishing. Please take a look atmy website. For reviews, Google: Amazon – June Kidd
The Silva Method: “To create a better world by empowering the individual.” The Silva Method puts you in charge of yourself. http://www.silvamethod.uk.com firstname.lastname@example.org email@example.com
June was a guest speaker at the Dyspla Festival, Covent Garden, in London. If you are, or have any family or friends who are dyslexic, this wonderful organisation will help you change attitudes. Details at www.dysthelexi.com
The question is not ‘How intelligent are you?’, but ‘How you are intelligent”
I have written full details of this extraordinary event in my book Unshriven, which you can purchase using the details here.
“Aged nine, the girl stood in front of the class, exercise book held high for all to see the spelling mistakes scored through with red ink, slashing marks for an otherwise excellent composition. The teacher, believing that this (quite bright) student was being lazy, had encouraged the other children to laugh at her hopeless attempt at spelling. This was not to humiliate the girl but an effort to make her ‘pay attention’ and memorise the daily homework list of words. It didn’t work, and confidence shattered. As the years passed there was always a dictionary at hand as every word over three letters was checked again and again before articles could be sold to newspapers or magazines. The conviction that ‘I can’t spell anything, so how I spell a word, must be wrong’, became an accepted fact of life.
I was that child and over thirty years later a sort of miracle happened.”
Unshriven is a true and factual account of an extraordinary happening in June’s life, who is a writer with dyslexia. Having completed a course on Imagination, Meditation, and Mind Discipline (The Silva Method) she used their advanced mind and visualisation techniques and learned to spell, virtually overnight! at the age of 40.
June then experienced a freedom that allowed her to write Unshriven, her first book, soon to be followed by “The Pruning of the Vine.”.
The Silva Method holds the secret of unleashing the Powers of Your Mind. It is really the secret behind the wonderful book, ‘The Secret’.